it's like on of those days when you have this annoying song playing in your head like a pirated cd that just keeps on playing a part of the song and just won't stop. like a nightmare that goes on and on. the thing is it's not a song and it's not being played in the head, but yes it's a nightmare.

i always remember a movie at times like this. a movie called Girl, Interrupted where angelina jolie won an oscar for her performance in a supporting role. nothing really that freakingly similar. i'm just scared that one day i might end up just one of the girls in the movie. i'm no psycho and i'm not a retard.

one thing i can't just have no control of aside from my mouth is my tendency to sink with a snap of a finger. i've been struggling for years and i've won all those battles. battles i've been fighting, battles against myself. and now i'm at war again. for how long? i don't know. strange thing though is that it keeps on coming up more often than before. it goes on and on more often.

i know it's normal to feel sad at times, i guess we're allowed to have that since we can't always be happy. what i wonder is that why it has been more frequent now? are things worse for me? how will i fight this time and the times to come? i wish i would stop. for the beat to stop. for silence. for once and for all times.

7...Seven...Seventh...Siete...
i just heard is a lucky number. Since i was born on the seventh day of the seventh month of the year, that would make me lucky then times two...
in the past, i would have attested to that, in number of occassions...lots of times
now, is not of those times.
things are not going my way or least the way they should or as i expected.